have you ever looked beyond the 1000 odd people you have in your facebook-freindlist??? or ever wondered what true friendship actually means? or how many of such a freind you do have in your life??
perhaps the most curious thing in the world is friendship and human emotions related to it..
you would get thousand sites on freindship quotations if u put a google search... but the queation here is how many can you apply in your real life?
What we have are acquintances... either we overvalue it , or undervalue it... but most of us really dont have a clue on this...."friend is thus a entirely misnomer term we often put upon such acquintances
So,before jumping into any conclusion..and write long stuffs boasting in praise of your "true friend" let us keep a few things in mind....
1. All friendships are basically a symbiotic relationship. : No one in the world can love another human being more than himself/herself. So,whatever they are doing may appear as nothing to what they are getting in return,but in doing that there is a secret desire getting fulfilled.that may be self satisfaction of "doing something helpfull for you" or just "loving to be of some use"....or may be "someday you may also help me,as i deed for you".
from chilhood people are taught these in their moral science classes..and gradually they grow upto a learned and technically programmed behaviour.
whatever people do has an underlying cause..nothing is free..it may be materialistic or oppurtunistic or sheer pleasure rather self gratifaction in being related to some great deed.
2.If its not symbiotic it got to be parasitic : you can easily identify and locate such "friends"... someone who enjoys your company more than you do...they would be always by your side when lady luck shines on you,and would be far gone when you are in crisis(definately after giving you a heart warming lecture and oodles of sympathy)
those of you have a close group of friends are really lucky.you are mature enough to discriminate the necessary from unnecessary for yourself... but if you have more than 8 BBF... you definately need to step back and reflect...
lets take this simple acid test( i read in a self help book)
ask you self "what are the chances and conditions may make you to hate that person,forget being in friendship??"
u are most likely be able to get a reply... because. every relation is based on some amount of emotional investment.whenever you quarrel with the concerned person is not only over that particular issue..it definately is underlined by a pain of broken trust.
Now as everything in this world comes at a price,friendship too is not cost free...Yes its not monetary,but is immensely affordable emotionally..
few aspects why we tend to fall for this friendship bait:-
1.Favours exchanged
2.Unrequited romantic interest (i.e. “let’s just be friends”)
3.Sexual liaison (e.g. “friend with benefits”)
4.Association by proximity (e.g. by being coworkers, neighbours, classmates etc..hoping they might come in use someday
Another thing is "friendship" is low on maintenance.:- you have to invest a lot emotionally in a romantic relationship,but here a simple "hi" may carry the message that you are there
freindship can be somewhat more protected from the "trust" aspect (than in a romantic liasion).... so it may sustain numerous storms of quarrels and disheartening
another thing is to be in a support group.friends are there when you want to share your emotional baggage..you have a somewhat emotional security..kind of a back up in that case....but if you are not able to choose properly the backup may backfire.. and you are left sranded humiliated and heart broken... so you have to be carefull before pouring your heart out to someone,who at present may be an ally but wont take much time to turn into a foe...
bottom line friendship is trust.... so just keep open eyes open on categorising acquintances....
happy friendship day ! :)
